Comment Writer Charis Gambon adds to her Hidden Disabilities Article, discussing what living with Dyspraxia means to her and others
As someone with Dyspraxia I often find that society is incredibly judgmental towards my disability. People have told me that ‘Dyspraxia is not real’ and that I am simply ‘lazy and looking for an excuse.’ I have been asked to apologise to others for being a bit too blunt, sharp, or loud and my differences have been interpreted as mere rudeness. The judgmental comment that hurts me the most, and that most Dyspraxic individuals have heard at some point, is: ‘but you do not look disabled.’ This comment is often said by someone who has made little to no effort to understand Dyspraxia. I wish that people were taught to respect differences rather than individuals with Dyspraxia being taught to fit in.
I have written this article to lead on from my feature in the article about hidden disabilities. There I only told my story. In this article, I will share the stories of other Dyspraxic individuals who have provided me with comments on their experiences alongside my own. Everyone’s experience is different, and I hope to honour those differences in this article.
Everyone’s experience is different, and I hope to honour those differences in this article.
Maria Gallagher stated in response to the question ‘do you suffer with a disability? [that] I don’t ‘suffer with dyspraxia,’ I live with dyspraxia and suffer systems, policies and organisations that are not designed for those with dyspraxia.’ Maria felt that Dyspraxic individuals were judged by a system that was not created for them, and that the choice word of ‘suffer’ was not appropriate. Maria wishes that the system was created by people who understood.
Edel Crowley highlighted that people are always stating: ‘I would never know you were dyspraxic if you hadn’t told me.’ She states that she often ‘masks’ in public to fit in with society. Edith feels like she has to apologise when the ‘mask’ slips in public, not because she is sorry but ‘because it is ingrained in me to apologise when I lose control of myself. Because when I was a child, I was taught that wasn’t okay. It’s hard as an adult to overcome years of being told to stop moving and stay quiet, you’re too loud, when I was always…just being me.’ Edel wishes that Dyspraxic individuals were not taught to follow the norm when they are different.
Penny Ehrhardt wishes that people understood that she is not something to be laughed at – ‘My clumsiness is not your punchline, people seem to think it’s fine to make fun of someone for being a klutz. It isn’t.’ She wishes that people understood Dyspraxia and were considerate rather than rude.
Allasan McCloskey declared ‘my entire life I’ve been told I’m over-dramatic, over-sensitive, a drama queen and that my feelings aren’t valid. My emotions are valid, what you see as ‘over drama’ is how I genuinely feel. Why would I tell you how I feel if it’s too much for you? Why must I limit my feelings to make you comfortable?’ She wishes that people were taught to respect everybody’s feelings and their way of showing them, even if they are different.
My emotions are valid, what you see as ‘over drama’ is how I genuinely feel.
Krystal-Bella Shaw suggests that people believe symptoms are a changeable part of your personality. She explained how she found that ’a lot of people’ assume ‘neurodivergent symptoms are actually personality traits and therefore, judge us for many things which are out of our control. The more I thought about this, the more I stopped apologising for it. Their judgement says more about them than it does me/us.’ Krystal wishes that Dyspraxic individuals were able to be themselves as everybody deserves to be who they are.
Dyspraxic Help 4U stated that job trials and interviews are not built for people with Dyspraxia. Commenting that ‘I remember doing a work trial numerous years ago and being the last of a quartet to get a permanent contract despite being the hardest worker and most determined. This was naturally down to the management taking a dislike to my awkwardness and time needed to help or explain things to me in a different way.’ They believe that was is important is how hard you work, not whether your personal style is ‘liked.’
Molly Elizabeth told me ‘I was raised ashamed of being dyspraxic, made to feel like I didn’t fit in anywhere.’ She states that it was difficult to fit in as a child as she was made to believe her dyspraxia was her issue to sort. Molly also stated that later in life she learnt that it was not her issue, suggesting ’I’ve come to learn that how people react to me, and my dyspraxia says a lot more about them than it does about me… I am Dyspraxic I have nothing to be sorry for. I am who I am, and I wouldn’t change it.’ She wishes that all Dyspraxic people were able to be themselves and ignore what others have to say.
I am Dyspraxic I have nothing to be sorry for. I am who I am, and I wouldn’t change it.
Kathryn Meigh stated that ‘the older I become the more I say no, which is far easier than tying myself in knots to please people or stop them feeling uncomfortable because I do something different, they don’t understand due to their lack of awareness. So, I no longer people please but that could be an age thing and nothing to do with dyspraxia.’ She wishes that all Dyspraxic individuals would put themselves first.
Each Dyspraxic experience with the world is different but I hope that in this article I have provided an insight to how individuals with Dyspraxia feel and how we are treated by society.
If you liked this, Read More from Comment:
Spotlight On: Hidden Disabilities
Comments