Content warning: reference to sexism, harassment, and rape.

If a woman is suspected to be sexually promiscuous, she may be labelled a ‘slut,’ whilst men are often excused. From the day we have learnt to speak, our language has been used to objectify women. Words are made to define them, and tell women how they should behave. So, why is the label of ‘slut’ looked down upon? Why, as Jessica Valenti writes for The Guardian, does the word ‘slut’ stick to a person in a way that ‘asshole’ never will?

When men were asked on Quora if being called a ‘fuckboy’ would offend them, some felt so, while many were indifferent, or took it as a compliment. Many, in fact, went ahead to say that being called a ‘slut’ or ‘whore’ is ‘much worse.’ This shows is that while a man can be deemed ‘masculine’ for his sexual behaviour, a woman is shamed endlessly. What is startling is how effortlessly this is gone unnoticed, and how men and women are treated differently for acting in the same way.

In fact, women have been condemned for having multiple sexual partners to such an extent, that as Valenti notes, a safe contraceptive and a cancer vaccine were both held up for years due to fears that they would make women ‘slutty.’ Valenti also observes that calling someone a ‘slut’ is more of a warning than a word, arising from ways of dressing, or talking that ‘do not adhere to the norms of the society.’

So, what are these norms? Where does the rule book exist? Or have we dwelt in these delusions for so long that we mistake them for facts?

This distressing notion arises from the fact that women are somehow considered promiscuous if they, simply, live in a way that men do. In fact, these harmful misconceptions have even affected court decisions. Over time, these disturbing labels have been accepted as almost reasonable.

Valenti refers to a specific incident which should have been an eye opener. She recounts the case of unconscious teen girl who was raped by men using multiple objects. The trial resulted in a hung jury because the defence argued that the girl was promiscuous, with one of the lawyers voicing, ‘Why was her vagina and anus completely shaved? Sex! She’s a sexual person!’

The fact that this incident failed to change the stigma is upsetting and brutal. If we continue to think and act in such ways, then we are failing women, endlessly and every day. This is just one of many incidents in which a woman is stripped of her dignity at the hands of a system. Every day we see women fighting for their rights and equality. Yet, we need to notice just how deep these issues run in society and that despite immense efforts and sacrifices, they still do not go away.

Such dangerous labels are used from school-age, if not earlier . Many girls have experienced being ‘slut-shamed’ in schools and colleges. Because of such criticism based on something both natural and normal, women are hurt, and scarred by being called ‘sluts.’ However, some women have started to embrace being called ‘sluts,’ in an effort to reclaim the word and have power and control over its meaning. Such efforts show how, once again, women are fighting to escape a label they were forced into.

We, as a society, need to grow up and stop taking cover behind weak facets of blame and shame, pouring our insecurities into others. Some women have sex with multiple partners, as do some men. We need to accept this reality and crucially, we need to stop dishonouring women.