I am, and always have been, a fan of anything Adam Sandler does (and no, I am not ashamed to admit it). So when I discovered that he was producing and starring in a new Netflix film about, and predominantly targeted towards, teenage girls, a genre mostly untouched by the producer, I was intrigued.

This shift in direction for Happy Madison productions was partially unsurprising. Sandler has been moving away from the crude gags and overtly ridiculous caricatures he became known for in the 90s and moving towards family friendly comedy for many years now. However, as teen films is a relatively uncharted territory for Sandler, I felt some slight scepticism as I sat down to watch You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah, despite its rapid ascent to Netflix’s number one spot. My scepticism was immediately disproved.

Sandler’s production team works with director Sammi Cohen and scriptwriter Alison Peck to create a love story to Jewish culture and tradition, the teenage girl experience, and female friendship. In the film, Sandler takes a backseat, playing father figure Danny (an opportunity to see DILF Adam Sandler in all his glory) and allows his daughters, Sunny and Sadie, to step into the spotlight, starring as Stacy and Ronnie Friedman, respectively.

While there is currently a lot of discourse surrounding the controversy of ‘nepo babies’, this is nothing new for Sandler who has always had a tendency to offer roles to his close friends and even to his wife, who also takes a minor role in this film. Sandler’s daughters further disprove ‘nepo baby’ claims as this film establishes their status as an emerging talent, clearly having inherited their father’s acting chops and comedic timing. This is particularly true for 14-year-old Sunny, who holds her own as the main character Stacy, showing impressive emotional range as the character navigates the embarrassing experiences of puberty and the turbulent nature of being an adolescent woman.

Although the narrative of the young female experience is emerging as a popular theme in films, particularly those produced by streaming services such as Netflix, this narrative is not necessarily often constructed in an authentic or original manner. You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah is unique in that, as you can probably work out from the punchy title, it focuses on a young character who is not only navigating her experience as a teenage girl who is biologically becoming a woman, but also as a young Jewish person who, in the eyes of her faith, is entering womanhood. It is refreshing to see a comedy film which is created as an ode to Jewish culture and fortunately does so with authenticity, with Jewish actors and a Jewish director.

The plot of the film centres around best friends Stacey (Sandler) and Lydia (Samantha Lorraine) who share in the excitement of planning their perfect bat mitzvah party, although both are less enthused by the actual Bat Mitzvah preparation project, led by an absurd hipster rabbi played by SNL’s Sarah Sherman. The two girls view their bat mitzvah party as the most important event of their lives. They constantly battle with their parents in true teenage fashion over the expenditures, including a plea to have Dua Lipa come perform. However, while planning their parties together, the girls have a major fall out over their shared crush on douchey wannabe influencer Andy (Dylan Hoffman). This puts not only their bat mitzvah parties, but also their life-long friendship at risk.

As expected from a teen comedy, much of the humour revolves around cringe. At some points in the film, the second-hand embarrassment is so intense that I had to pause for a second before I continued watching. Lydia’s bat mitzvah party, without giving away too much, is a particularly painful scene in terms of this, and almost makes you dislike Stacy as a character for a moment (although she definitely redeems herself at the end).

Much of the cringe factor however is sourced in the excessive use of TikTok and Instagram as themes in the plot, including an Instagram ‘rumours’ page which Stacy uses to spread lies about Lydia. However, while I do find that the film could have done with less of a focus on it, social media is such a central part of the teenage experience nowadays that to omit it at all would be somehow missing a trick. I did also find there to be an excess of ‘Gen Z buzzwords’ which did feel a little try hard at points. Hearing Adam Sandler repeatedly accusing his daughter of ‘gaslighting’ him was not something I expected to hear.

Despite some slight moments of uncomfortable cringe, this does not take away from the film, particularly as much of the cringe is suitable for the teenage context of the plot and creates the humour. As well as being a comedy, this film is also extremely heart-warming and Stacy’s character arc and transformation is so crucial and honest.

At the beginning of the film, Stacy is slightly bratty and at times selfish, believing popularity, boys and having the best bat mitzvah party to be the most important things in her life. However, by the end, Stacy has gained a new found perspective, realising the importance of friendship and family over romance and attention, even sacrificing her bat mitzvah party for the greater good. What is so notable about the film is that it highlights not only the experience of a teenage girl but also one who is Jewish, and ensures that this remains a focus. This is shown particularly as we see Stacy’s growing appreciation for her culture and religion, with help from her father as she eventually learns her Torah verse for her bat mitzvah, despite an initial struggle.

Verdict:

Overall, this film is uplifting, genuine and thoroughly enjoyable. I for one am looking forward to seeing more from Sunny and Sadie Sandler, as I have no doubt they both have a bright future in film.

8/10

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