Good, heart-warming, family comedies are often hard to come by. Many comedies these days are aimed at adults, going all-in on unnecessary dick jokes and swearing. There are, of course, exceptions to this: recent hits and Oscar-buzzed The Favourite and Green Book, for example, or last year’s masterpiece Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri – but each of these has something else that it wishes to deal with primarily, be it grief, racism, or the struggle for power. The sub-genre of family comedy is one not broached all that often with enthusiasm; many are simply aimed at children, and are lazy, cynical films whose only purpose is to make money from tired parents wanting a few hours’ peace during the school holidays. But every now and again, one will come along to give the genre an adrenaline boost – to remind us why we enjoy such films. Instant Family, from director Sean Anders and starring Mark Wahlberg and Rose Byrne, is not that film.

Instant Family is a film with a big heart – it’s just a shame that there is very little else of merit about it. It follows Mark Wahlberg and Rose Byrne’s married couple of Pete and Ellie, who, when goaded about having kids by Ellie’s sister, decide to foster. Wanting a challenge, they take in teenager Lizzie (Isabela Moner) and her two younger siblings Juan and Lita (Gustavo Quiroz and Juliana Gamiz). It is, however, more of a challenge than the two initially expected, and they are forced to question everything they previously thought about being parents as they struggle to bond with the three troublesome children.

To begin with, Instant Family is not massively funny. There are some genuine laughs to be had here and there, but these are sadly few and far between. It’s rather vexing, as both Wahlberg and Byrne are perfectly capable comedic actors – but here they get very little to work with. The script is jarringly, annoyingly uneven; when the jokes land, they land, but when they don’t, it’s as though there is an awkward pause before things get moving again. Seasoned actors such as Wahlberg, Byrne, and even Octavia Spencer are rendered largely unfunny by awkward material. This is an issue that pervades the entire film; when it makes the effort to try and be funny, it fails. When it sits back and lets it happen, it works – but sadly there is too much of the former for things to work out well.

As you might expect given its subject matter, Instant Family is a film with a big heart – or rather, it wants to be. There are many, many emotional moments over the course of the film, but very few of them land, and stay on the ground. Some simply don’t; others are well-intentioned but are overly sweet to the point of feeling saccharine; and some (the film’s emotional crux springs to mind here) are genuinely heartfelt moments that are beautifully acted, only to then be entirely undercut by a moment of achingly bad comedy. The film’s climax is particularly ruined by this – for all the film’s faults, its main characters are largely fantastic, but the resolution to the arc of our main trio is ruined by a bafflingly pointless attempt at a joke. In this sense, the script feels restricting, as though it is afraid to let these moments be natural, normal, or satisfying. All this does is achieve confusion in its audience; far from the intended tears.

The script doesn’t do many of its characters any good, either; a Thanksgiving dinner sequence that is pivotal in Pete and Ellie’s decision to foster doesn’t gel because Ellie’s family are unnaturally horrible to her and Pete. Again, it is as though the film is trying too hard to push its point across – we’re beaten over the head with this fact until we just can’t take it anymore. Support group classes for the foster parents are another sticking point: to begin with, things between Pete and Ellie and the kids go well, which the other foster parents do not take well to. Jabs and bad jokes are made at the pair by the other parents, and every single person in the room laughs along in a vicious manner. These scenes are puzzling and a little uncomfortable, partly because it’s unclear why the other parents are being so nasty, but mostly because the laughter feels so forced. It isn’t funny, it’s just rather alienating – and that isn’t a feeling that is contained to these few scenes.

Anders can’t seem to decide what he wants the audience for Instant Family to be. Its synopsis and subject matter would seem to suggest that it is a family film, but that’s not a feeling we ever get. The abundance of swearing and references to sex and drugs (as well as a paedophilia subplot that is dropped as soon as it is introduced), however, cut this demographic out – but it is also not a full-blown adult comedy. There is nothing inherently wrong with the 12A rating the film has; indeed, some of this decade’s best movies have been 12As, but these were films that knew what their audience was going to be. With Instant Family, we never get that sense. It is caught between its two possible states of being, never fully committing to one or the other, and this results in the audience being lost in a sea of uncertainty. Because the filmmakers can’t decide what they want from Instant Family, neither can we.

Even some of the film’s simpler aspects fail. The opening scene is extremely poorly edited to the point that each camera cut is jarring. It is a scene of dialogue meant to introduce us to Pete and Ellie, but it is edited as though we are watching a trailer; quick cuts and rapid line delivery result in the whole scene feeling off somehow. Some of the cinematography is particularly poor, too; the basics of blocking during a conversation are almost entirely ignored in one scene, removing us from its emotion entirely. The worst of these aspects, however, is easily the film’s score; it is poor. It feels overly clichéd and saccharine, resulting in every scene feeling sickly and off-putting.

Despite earnest performances from Wahlberg and Byrne, a handful of good laughs, some genuine emotion, and fantastic turns from the three kids, Instant Family just never really feels like anything. If anything, it feels oddly corporate; a line of text at the end of the film tells us to go to a website to see how we can help foster children – though well-intentioned, we’re left feeling like that was the film’s entire purpose, and it’s oddly cynical. It’s a shame, above all.

Verdict:

A smattering of good moments and admittedly great performances all-round sadly can’t save this overly sweet, largely unfunny film about navigating parenthood. Its poor script and general identity crisis leave us lost, like a parent at a foster fair, questioning why we’re even here in the first place. Decidedly not one to foster on a permanent basis.

Rating:

4/10