Content Warning: This article mentions sexual assault.

But, really, is there such a thing as ‘safe nudes’? Asking for a friend. Compassion is seemingly harder to come by these days, although I’m sure ‘these days’ of minimal compassion is nothing new in the grand scheme our history which has been riddled with sexist discrimination. Luckily, this history, which sadly many are still proud of, is becoming less socially-acceptable to tolerate. 

Revenge porn is, equally, the lifelong companion of this desolate compassion. The only constants are marriage, births, and victim-blaming. Accompanied by the perpetual, rigidly orthodox rhetoric surrounding nude images that many imprudently hold dearly in their hearts. What happens in the comfort and safety of someone’s own home, evidently, cannot seem to stay there. This breach of privacy is embraced by a culture of public-shaming. 

This breach of privacy is embraced by a culture of public-shaming

The mindset regarding this discourse is, naturally, backwards. No surprise there, then. The undisciplined animalistic warfare declared on those who— not necessarily take nudes— but ones who, rightfully, defend themselves when such intimate images are leaked. While many claim to be ‘woke’ this did not stop widespread victim-blaming of Zara McDermott, the Love Island star was even criticised by her school after nude photos were leaked while she was still a minor.’We are amiss. We look back to our backdated prejudice instead. Mmh. Whoever has got their head out of the gutter of purity culture is far from impressed and purity culture is rather gutted about it.

The case study of Zara McDermott reveals it all. The Love Island star, at just 14, was a victim of revenge porn— worst of all, her school blamed her and she was hurled a platter of verbal abuse. If that wasn’t traumatic enough, she was dealt with another revenge porn-related blow whilst in the Love Island Villa. My heart genuinely goes out to McDermott, women in power are frequently haunted by their past, and blood-thirsty exes are often the catastrophic cause of revenge-porn attacks. 

My heart genuinely goes out to McDermott, women in power are frequently haunted by their past

It’s too bad many unfairly see revenge porn as self-perpetuating, simply because there is visual evidence of their partaking. It’s too bad because it is ignorant, and another case of ‘we don’t see the skeletons in the closet’ or, in this day and age, the truth behind the screen. We abandon the well-known issue of consent and the complexity of it. After all, McDermott herself was under the age to take such photos– we’re talking about child pornography and, statutory speaking, no consent to the photos or, indeed, their repulsive release. 

We are no stranger to the at times murky nature of consent. We recognise that it is not black-and-white. Yet when the lines blur, we default back to turning against the victim to condone the perpetrator. If not directly, then subconsciously when we pick apart the victim’s argument— on a matter we were not present for. It’s gossip culture infecting the way we think about such cases. What a treat– for the perpetrators, that is. Who are often let off the hook, as Mcdermott emphasises was the case for her, and such culture goes in their favour. It’s an incredibly bitter ‘treat.’ Nonetheless, the ‘grey area’ is manipulation. 

If not directly, then subconsciously when we pick apart the victim’s argument— on a matter we were not present for

The evidence lies in the terms themselves: ‘leaked’ and ‘revenge’ porn. It’s weaponising bodies, controlling them as a puppet master would an object. Similarly, we blindside the institutional control of brainwashing, gaslighting and manipulation deeply embedded in what makes a victim. 

Purity culture may seem a stranger to us in the 21st century. It’s only something that can be talked about with virginity, right? Wrong. The idea of virtue being ‘ruined’ or ‘tarnished’ is intertwined with many ideas from virginity to nudity. Even as a woman myself, it’s this exact echo chamber of internalised misogyny that means my instinct towards victims of revenge porn, above compassion, is to foolishly hope I will never be one of them. And even ‘them’ creates a distinct divide, like somehow, somewhere along the misogynistic family line, these women are different to ‘other women.’ It is exactly this attitude of needing to remain ‘virtuous’ women inherit that adds to the cycle of shame. This leads women to no longer simply be victims of such shaming but subconscious perpetrators of it too. To which we are not at fault. It is troublesome to be a woman at times, our internalised misogyny only adds fuel to the fire. 

It is troublesome to be a woman at times, our internalised misogyny only adds fuel to the fire

Misogyny makes sure it’s up to scratch— and it, unfortunately, is here to leave a scar. Which McDermott herself has said these events have indeed left. But misogyny is a mutant, thriving on a redundant purpose. I fear we’ll never quite be rid of victim blaming’s wrath; it merely morphs. In this open-shut case, the breach of purity culture has turned its head from virginity to nudity. It’s clutching at straws for power, and if those who mistakenly believe misogyny no longer exist, then why, even when misogyny is weakening, does it still hold unprecedented power over women’s agency, reputation and identity? The apple doesn’t fall far from the patriarchy’s tree. 

It may be exactly this phenomenon that compels McDermott to find loopholes for the education system to wrap its little head around sex education. Beating victim-blaming, evidently, doesn’t work, that much is clear. Namely, because it is an instrument to punish ‘disobedient’ women. On that matter, it’s a subjective game of ‘he says’/‘she says’— and we all know which sex wins that one. Though it remains a far cry from sense—why are we more likely to believe the wrongdoer? Thinking of it, where are the scales of Justice— are they in Dubai or something? 

Beating victim-blaming, evidently, doesn’t work, that much is clear

McDermott is an advocate for victims of revenge porn. Agony aunt style, she suggests taking intimate pictures ‘safely.’ Which commonly entails removing your face from the picture, any obvious room decor to know it’s you and, the bottom line is, take your identity out of the picture. Essentially, it’s a form of ‘grey-rocking.’ A tactic often used against narcissists. It involves being as boring as can be, so any person who, once has their hands on the intimate picture, has no material to work within ruining one’s reputation. Too right. Of course, because we’re already being objectified anyway, so what’s a personality got to do with it? All it does is identify a specific person to be the punchline of the problem. Which is by no means an excuse for releasing the pictures.

This loophole can be credited for its merit and it may indeed be an effective exemption from the blanket condemnation of revenge porn. But is this a weapon of defence for potential victims? Or merely another justification for perpetrators to reign lose on those unaware of this advice and show their identity? Would this exacerbate another game of ‘she knew what she was doing?’ That ‘she wanted it.’ Because what person wouldn’t want to be publicly shamed? I wonder. These interrogations accompany the echo chamber of purity culture that has been continuously spilling further out from the chamber’s loose lid— from right beneath our noses. 

These interrogations accompany the echo chamber of purity culture that has been continuously spilling further out from the chamber’s loose lid

It is worthy of note, however, that this advice, although it comes at a devastating cost, is possibly the only way to escape societal bounds. Even when it is exactly this that feeds perpetrators hungry justifications for their crime of revenge porn and ‘receipts’ for evidence. It would seem, wrongfully, that victims of all genders can’t win. But in a losing game, it’s heartbreaking that agony aunt advice is the best we’ve got against the enemy of outdated purity culture and it’s iron fist.

If this is our only weapon, it concludes my argument beyond any reasonable doubt. But fighting against revenge porn is a fight for freedom. If loopholes are all we’ve got until Refuge, a domestic abuse charity endorsed by Mcdermott herself successfully amends the Domestic Abuse Bill, then so be it. 

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