Content warning: discusses struggles with mental health

Growing up, I, like many other Gen Z kids, was surrounded by a glamorised view of America. I had never been to the USA yet felt like my life revolved around it, from the television shows I watched to the music I listened to; American culture became embedded into me, and even to this day it is hard to revert away from this.

I longed for the fame and fortune that these American teenagers had– I longed to be an actress or a pop sensation

The Disney Channel and Nickelodeon were a huge part of my early teenage years – the most impressionable part of my life. Hormones were high and I was desperate to fit into the ‘ideal’ lifestyle that was portrayed on the television. It always seemed like the teenage protagonists portrayed on screen were living their best lives. Take Victorious for example; I dreamed of being a Hollywood Arts student, taken in by the idea of fame and stardom – these students were having the time of their lives. Tori Vega, Cat Valentine and Jade West were talented, looked ‘perfect’ and were having so much fun whilst I was back in the UK struggling to fit in at school, feeling like an outsider. I longed for the fame and fortune that these American teenagers had– I longed to be an actress or a pop sensation. I thought it would solve all of my problems. I just wanted my moment to ‘Make it Shine.’

This created bigger issues, however, for my self-esteem. I was no longer just comparing myself to others at school, I was comparing myself to so-called teenagers who I had never met, who more often than not, were played by adults. I felt I would never be happy unless I could live in Hollywood. America, to me, was a Paradise that I could never reach. The closest I was going to get was playing with my Barbie and Bratz dolls and giving them American accents. Being British was boring; I strived to reject my British identity in hope of creating one that was ‘fake’ and unnatural to me. If only there were more portrayals of ‘regular’ teens on the TV, perhaps my ideas of happiness would have been different. To me, success was to be famous, to be like Hannah Montana living the ‘best of both worlds.’ I was brain-washed and unfortunately, these ideas of success are still ingrained into me.

Being British was boring; I strived to reject my British identity in hope of creating one that was ‘fake’ and unnatural to me

Of course, British TV shows also played a part in my childhood but not to the same extent as their USA counterparts did. The likes of The Story of Tracy Beaker made me realise that not everyone is perfect; Tracy’s life was far from glam, living in a children’s home called ‘The Dumping Ground’ in which she always got into fights with Justine Littlewood and got a right telling off from Elaine the Pain. CBBC did well in allowing the show to portray kids as just that… kids. However, even amongst a very British show, American idealism pushed its way through. Tracy Beaker always bragged about her mum, who abandoned her as a child, living a dream life as a Hollywood Film Star. In a show that was supposed to be a reprieve from the usual portrayal of ‘perfect’ lifestyles, once again America is always depicted as some sort of Paradise for the rich and famous. Beaker’s mum could have been a film star anywhere in the world but the fact that she lived in Hollywood stresses the heart-breaking idea that you can only make it big in America.

In a show that was supposed to be a reprieve from the usual portrayal of ‘perfect’ lifestyles, once again America is always depicted as some sort of Paradise for the rich and famous

Now, as a 20 year-old woman, American reality TV is a huge part of my life. I am drawn to it most likely because of the shows I was subjected to as a child. I now know that the America portrayed on television is an idealised one that makes up for such a small percentage of lifestyles. Most of America still struggles with the exact same issues as I do. My younger self was naïve to think that mental health issues and struggles with self-image ceased to exist in another country – I now know different but sadly it does not stop me from aiming for the lifestyle I so dreamed of growing up. When I watch shows like Selling Sunset I long for those huge houses in the Hollywood Hills. I long to be as fashionable as Christine Quinn. There is nothing wrong with being ambitious but it becomes a problem when it completely destroys your sense of self-worth.

Americanisation made me delusional growing up. It made me feel like my life was not good enough. Unfortunately, the glamorised view of the USA shows no signs of disappearing. Whilst Disney Channel no longer exists in the UK (with the exception of Disney+), newer platforms are being used to get into the heads of impressionable young people. With social media and TikTok making it seem like every young person in America has a life like the D’Amelios I fear those younger than myself will face the internal struggles that I myself went through, perhaps, on a much bigger scale.

Now children only have to open their phones up to access a glamorised USA

Exposure to the American lifestyle has never been easier; at least in the naughties Disney and Nickelodeon were only available through certain television packages, Youtube was only for sharing music videos and nobody knew what Instagram was– but now children only have to open their phones up to access a glamorised USA. Teens only have to look at how successful Jojo Siwa is (she literally has a car with her face on it) and witness family vloggers such as Kyler and Madison Fisher go on ‘no budget’ shopping sprees just for the sake of a youtube video to wrongly believe that materialism is the gateway to happiness and America is the place that can provide them just that. This is not to say that these stars have not earned these luxuries but when their lives are placed in the public eye, available for all to access, children start gaining an unrealistic snapshot into the average American life. British children are quickly becoming the step-children of America instead of embracing their own identity, trying desperately to replicate the lifestyle they see on their screen. They will always have unrealistic portrayals of Americans forced upon them and will always have to struggle in comparing them to their own lives. The sad truth is that there is simply no escape.

---

Read more from Life&Style:

Returning to Orbit: My Experience

Having Two Names: My Experience

A Tumblr Retrospective: My Experience