Content Warning: This article mentions sexual assault. 

When you ask women for a definitive number of how many times they have been sexually assaulted or harassed, I can guarantee you that they will not have one. This is because it is not a couple of experiences, but it is all the time. This only happens because we are women, it is because men do not respect us, they do not see us as people. After recent events I have felt a deeper connection between myself and other women, opening up conversations about how we are constantly judged for being over-cautious for our safety has made me feel as though I am not alone, and I am not being irrational. It is something women have become accustomed to. Women share a common experience of fear. 

As a woman, I have always felt a certain amount of anxiety going anywhere on my own after dark. This is because the fear has been instilled within me from a young age, as a teenager, I was warned to never go anywhere on my own at night, and if I ever did I had to have some form of alarm, and to always inform someone of my location or when I arrived home. I do not know if it was all of my previous warnings that were the basis of my fear, or the knowledge that deep down there will always be the chance that I will need these layers of protection because it is simply not safe. 

Moving from a small village where threats are minute, to a large city like Birmingham opened my eyes to the reality of the situation. I had entered a whole new game. In my first week of living in Birmingham, I was verbally harassed by men on the street, something I had not experienced before. As most women do, I brushed it off and continued my walk because although it upset and disgusted me, I just thought to myself ‘well this is normal.’ I thought this because the structures of society have deemed it acceptable for men to act in vile manners without repercussions. Actions as such should never be considered normal or even tolerated, harassment is still present because no one stands up to it or challenges the men responsible. 

Women know that not all men are the problem, not every man is a sexual harasser, however, how are women supposed to know the difference? I would rather be overcautious and cross the road, I will always assume the worst because when assuming the best, it can result in terrible consequences. It is safest for a woman to learn of a man’s good intentions when being overly cautious rather than trusting a dangerous man because men feel as though they all deserve the benefit of the doubt. Men have no right to be uncomfortable or insulted when millions of women are being assaulted and harassed every day.

By being a man, it creates a sense of protection and they will never know the privilege they have as a consequence of this. There are many things that men can do to make women feel safer when walking alone in public, such as: keeping their distance and not walking behind a woman at night, being an active bystander, offer to walk their female friends’ home, not touching a woman in any manner without consent, and do not run up to or past woman from behind. Not all men are being accused, but they are all being asked for our support, and making simple changes like these could make a world of difference. 

If you have not crossed the road to avoid someone or held your keys in your hand as a mode of defense, or even called/texted someone so that someone knows your location, then you are a man. A man who does not know the feeling of leaving the house with the possibility that you will never come home because of the dangers that await a lone woman. We do everything in our power to make ourselves feel safe, but it will never be enough. The only change that can happen is on the part of men.

At the end of the day, women do all of the ‘right things’ and still end up being harassed or assaulted by men. There is nothing we can do right because everything we do is wrong or irresponsible. We are told that we are wrong for wanting to walk the streets of our hometowns at night, we are wrong for wearing whatever we want to, or we are wrong for simply leaving the house on our own. Women are not just scared, we are angry, we are blamed for the actions of dangerous men, men who do not value or care for our wellbeing. It is 2021 and these incidents are still happening, why are they still happening? 

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