Sport Writer Matt Grubb reports on ex-footballer Clarke Carlisle and his wife Carrie’s talk on sport and mental health at the UoBe Festival
Content Warning: This article contains references to depression and suicide.
UoBe Festival was privileged to host former Premier League centre-back Clarke Carlisle and his wife Carrie, who spoke honestly and openly for more than 90 minutes about the former’s history of significant mental health issues and its overlap with sport, as well as the effect it has on loved ones. Clarke began by eloquently discussing his life and career, and his subsequent battles with his mental health, which has included four suicide attempts, most recently in 2017. Carrie then described the struggles faced by the loved ones of those in desperate need of help, offering crucial first-hand advice to listeners should they find themselves in a similar position.
Misconceptions that ‘adverse mental health issues are a sign of weakness are utter, utter rubbish’
Clarke played Premier League football for Watford and Burnley, and also represented Blackpool, QPR, Leeds, Northampton and other Football League clubs in a career that spanned more than 500 games, despite his depression. He believes that this proves that misconceptions that ‘adverse mental health issues are a sign of weakness are utter, utter rubbish.’ He is also recognised as a commentator, presenter, and author, and he has had numerous senior roles at the Professional Footballers’ Association (PFA). Now, he and his wife – a presenter and journalist – use their experience to promote mental wellbeing in others, with Clarke expressing his desire to provide ‘insights into how we would have changed our journey.’
Clarke first discussed his upbringing and his route into football, having grown up in Preston in the 1980s with little wealth. ‘This was a tough dynamic where a black father and a white mother were trying to bring up a family, so we had no money,’ he said. Despite this adversity, he achieved five A* and five A grades at GCSE. He decided to pause his studies to pursue his dream of becoming a professional footballer as he knew that he was ‘probably only going to get one chance’ at it.
He subsequently signed a professional contract at Blackpool, and the joy on his face when reflecting on this achievement was clear to see: ‘I was on £27.50 a week, I was rolling in it!’ In 1997, Clarke made his debut in a 4-3 win away at Wrexham at just seventeen years of age, and things would get even better when he scored a stoppage-time winner on his home debut the following week, which was ironically against Carlisle United.
‘The euphoria that coursed through my veins in that moment, it was like I’d repaid dad and grandad for every second of time that they’d invested in me,’ he recalled. ‘It was a validation that I belonged on this stage, and I was deserving of being a professional footballer. It was utterly incredible.’
This rags to riches story continued with a £250,000 transfer to QPR in 2000, followed by an England under-21s call up.
[Footballers] are equally as vulnerable to mental health struggles as everyone else
It was clear that football was everything to Clarke, and was very much a cornerstone of his life. Indeed, he admits that his ‘identity was inextricably linked with football.’ In a stark warning to listeners, his career ultimately contributed to his mental health issues, illustrating the heart-breaking fact that footballers – despite following their dreams – are equally as vulnerable to mental health struggles as everyone else. An ‘innocuous tackle’ in a night game against Fulham in 2001 resulted in a serious injury to his knee and hamstring, with doctors believing that his career might be over. After six housebound weeks spent ‘in an alcoholic haze’, Clarke attempted to commit suicide for the first time.
‘I thought there’s no other part of me that I think matters at that time,’ Clarke admits. ‘And that’s where I got it wrong.’
There are two crucial messages from this story. Firstly, Clarke stresses that people ‘don’t put all of your support mechanisms in one basket.’ Secondly, which he reiterated multiple times: ‘know your worth.’ This is particularly relevant to university students, some of whom will undoubtedly have struggled in the past year without certain activities or sports that were so integral to an individual’s life and identity. As a result, Clarke admits struggling through periods of transition, leading to three more suicide attempts since his retirement. Yet, he reiterates that human beings are so much more valuable than most of us believe.
‘There was also Clarke the son, Clarke the brother…the friend…all of these different roles that I fulfil in my life, they contribute to my total worth as a human being. And when I got to the point where I thought that only one of them mattered, anything negative in that area had a profound impact on me… because I didn’t understand my total worth.’
The stigma surrounding mental health is slowly ending
There is certainly room for optimism. The openness of the talk illustrates how the stigma surrounding mental health is slowly ending. Clarke firmly believes that talking directly about suicide and depression ‘diminishes’ the stigma even further. Furthermore, Clarke’s recovery is a source of inspiration and courage. Ultimately, it shows that help is always available. After a suicide attempt in 2017, he undertook ‘a very different journey’ where speaking therapies, psychiatric care and the right medication have all enabled him to ‘understand my depression and manage my life accordingly.’
‘Do it now, before crisis ensues,’ Clarke urges to those in need of help. ‘You can visit Pause@UoB, you have a wellbeing officer you can go to, a GP… you can call the Samaritans (116 123), they’re a good listening service.’
This idea of managing mental health was a crucial part of the talk and was particularly emphasised by Carrie, who reiterates that ‘everyone is on the mental health spectrum’ and that ‘it’s ok to worry as long as you have the tools. Everyone has emotions, it’s normal… the key is are they manageable?’
‘We’re not great every day,’ she added. ‘No one’s life is perfect, don’t be afraid of imperfection.’
This is a far cry from the horrifying lack of awareness back in 2001, but it illustrates how much society is improving in this area. ‘We didn’t do any of the psychological work…nobody knew what to say…it was terrible advice, but it was the advice of the era,’ he added. Both Clarke and Carrie suggested that this is true of both society and sport, but in a specific caution to sportspeople attendance, Carrie criticised the role of sport psychologists when Clarke was a footballer, despite Clarke speaking to many of them.
‘Football has some fantastic mechanisms in there, but they’re bit-part’
‘They’re not much good for your mental health. They’re really good for when you’re on the pitch, they’re really good for when you’re on the track,’ she told listeners. ‘Go see your wellbeing officer if you are feeling unmanageable.’ Clarke also suggested that professional sport has perhaps not done enough in this area. ‘Football has some fantastic mechanisms in there, but they’re bit-part,’ he said from experience. ‘They only kick into play when someone is in crisis.’
Carrie ended the talk by recommending listeners to avoid from social media when they are feeling vulnerable as it can be ‘triggering.’ Clarke echoed her advice, describing it as ‘all-intrusive’ and ‘overwhelming,’ especially for professional sportspeople.
There are clearly lots of crucial words of wisdom that we can all learn from Carrie and Clarke, especially for those involved in professional sport. Perhaps the most important advice of all is that if you are in a crisis, there is always help around – whether that is the Samaritans (116 123), your GP, or your wellbeing officer at UoB. You can text ‘SHOUT’ to 85258 to contact the Shout Crisis Text Line, which is available 24/7. There are also useful resources on Clarke and Carrie’s website.
Clarke survived and is on the road to recovery. He now pleads to others struggling: ‘If you’re overwhelmed seek the help that is needed. Get through this situation.’
If you would like to speak to someone or treatment in relation to addiction, visit OK Rehab.
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